About 6 months ago, in the most intensely confusing hour of my life, I saw myself on the cross, and my “ego, old man, self” died with Christ. Since that time I have experienced Gal. 2:20 24/7. When one understands death to self as the true meaning of the cross, then one sees that the whole NT teaches precisely that.
American Christianity mostly teaches the re-habilitation of the self. It never worked for me. So far this works, but I have paid a huge price for it; the loss of “everything.” When it happened I prayed that Father would send people to me who saw me as I really am. 10-15 people “saw,” beamed at me with love, but soon rejected me. (I still don’t understand.) (BTW I’m 67, a teacher; most of my friends are in their 20s-30s.)
So with nowhere to go I moved to Vietnam. Everyone here does “see” me! I am surrounded by people who love me, and I am free to love them wholly and completely. One of my friends wrote: “A better future is waiting for you. The most important thing is that the Vietnamese people love you very much. I and my friends are an example."
I tried and tried to share what I have experienced with Americans with little success; I’m not expecting any different on this blog. A few of my American friends think I have become a Buddhist; one of my Viet friends said, “you look like a Buddhist.” (I still don’t understand.)
I don’t have “answers” for any of you but I don’t mind sharing my experience with people who have ears to hear it.
soctom@gmail.com
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